英语值日报告笑话简单（2023年）

下面是小编为大家整理的英语值日报告笑话简单（2023年）,供大家参考。

英语值日报告笑话简单1

　　浅议高中英语值日报告

　　英语课上课一开始进行5分钟左右的值日报告（dutyreport）是英语课堂教学的一个重要环节。这种简单的英语报告尽管只占几分钟时间，但对渲染课堂气氛，调动和激发学生英语学习的积极性和创造性，及时复习巩固课堂内容起着不可低估的作用。通过多年的教学实践证明，短短的五分钟值日报告，不仅提高了学生的学习主动性，激发了学生学习兴趣和参与意识；同时培养了他们的创造性思维，加强了他们对于英语这门语言的综合运用能力。

　　值日报告的意义和作用

　　教师走下讲台，学生走上讲台。让学生感知和习得语言，在课堂内开展活动。把所学的知识转化为活生生的交际事实，启用真实情感进行语言操练，从而把真实生活带进课堂，使语言自然融入交际背景中，使生活自然融入教学之中。课堂上的5分钟，需要课后10-20分钟，甚至更长时间的.准备。做好准备是做好值日报告的前提。无论是何种形式的值日报告，学生都要对所要做的报告进行选题、选材；阅读材料、组织材料、加工整理；为最后上台汇报做好充分的准备工作。在整个准备过程中，学生分析问题和解决问题的能力逐步得到提高，与其它学生的合作能力也得到加强，实际上也是一个综合能力训练的过程和知识巩固的过程。准备充分的学生做值日报告时都会充满自信，语言流畅，能较充分地运用语言知识；一方面提高了自身的英语运用能力；另一方面，为课堂创造了一个真实的英语语境。

英语值日报告笑话简单扩展阅读

——简单小学英语笑话3篇

简单小学英语笑话1

　　Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One summer day he started his own investigations. With his 12-year-old sister Sophie in tow, he caught a large bull frog in a local pond. Sidney started his experiment with the amphibian, and told Sophie her job was to write down the results of the experiment.

　　Sidney drew a line in the sand, placed the frog on the line, and prodded the frog with a small twig from the rear and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped, and Sidney measured the distance. "12 feet...write that down, Sophie," he said.

　　Next, he brought the frog back to the starting point and removed the frog"s right front leg. Again he prodded the frog and shouted, "Jump, frog!" The frog jumped 10 feet, and on instruction, Sophie wrote it down.

　　Again the frog was brought back, the left front leg was removed, and again "Jump, frog!" Sidney reported, "Six feet...write it down."

　　The next time, Sidney removed the large right back leg. "Jump, frog!" Then, he shouted "Jump, frog!" and prodded the frog. "The frog jumped 8 inches...write it down, Sophie."

　　Finally, Sidney removed the frog"s remaining back left leg, put it down and prodded the frog with the twig shouting, "Jump, frog! Jump, frog! JUMP FROG!! JUMP JUMP FROG!!!"

　　The frog didn"t jump. Sophie looked at Sidney, and said, "So what should I write down?"

　　Sidney thought a moment, then told Sophie to write, "When you remove all the legs from a frog, it turns deaf."

简单小学英语笑话2

　　A Bad Impression

　　一个坏印象

　　My husband and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasn"t clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you...you editor!"

　　我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕谈话中，我们经常给孩子们谈到我们的工作。没人清楚他们听懂了多少。直到有一天，我偶然听到七岁的"女儿卢希烦恼地向她五岁的妹妹喊道：“你，你----你这个编辑!”

简单小学英语笑话3

　　Expensive Advice

　　昂贵的建议

　　The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.

　　大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。

　　"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

　　“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。

　　"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

　　“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”

　　"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I"ll do that."

　　“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”

　　When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:

　　第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：

　　"For legal services, $50."

　　“请付法律服务费50美元。”

——英语笑话简单的3篇

英语笑话简单的1

　　One Point

　　Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －"62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.

　　One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn"t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"

　　一分之差

　　位于印第安那州瓦巴西的`怀兹中学，其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球，上面标明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。

　　一天，我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来，说道：“多奇怪呀，这些队都是以一分之差输掉的！"

英语笑话简单的2

　　Three Surgeons

　　Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."

　　"That"s nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."

　　"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse"s posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."

　　三个外科医生

　　三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”

　　“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”

　　“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”

英语笑话简单的3

　　Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn"t you?" I teased.

　　"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"

　　我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧？”我取笑他。

　　“开什么玩笑？”，他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫？”

——学生简单英语笑话3篇

学生简单英语笑话1

　　Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice hesaid to his wife: "When I"m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can"t marryanyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheatedme in a horse deal!"

　　老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”妻子：“为什么?”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

学生简单英语笑话2

　　Dentist: I"m sorry, madam, but I"ll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son"s tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　昂贵的`代价

　　牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

——带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话5篇

带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话1

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida,

　　my husband and I and our two children

　　devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction.

　　After three exhausting days,

　　we headed for home.

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-bye, Mickey."

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Good-bye, Minnie."

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-bye, Money."

　　一次，我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往位于佛罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园旅游,我们全身心地陶醉在它的各种充满吸引力的奇观中。

　　筋疲力尽地玩了三天后，我们要回家了。

　　当我们驾车离开时，儿子挥着手说：“再见了，米奇。”

　　女儿也挥着手说，“再见了，米妮。”

　　丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说：“再见了，美元。”

带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话2

　　A Present 凯特的礼物

　　Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

　　凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

　　妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?

　　凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

　　妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

　　凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话3

　　A Monkey and a Flea

　　Mum: Baby, what’s the difference between a monkey and a flea? Baby: One is big and one is small.

　　Mum: Anything else?

　　Baby: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can’t have monkeys.经典英语口语小笑话精选

　　妈妈：猴子和跳蚤有什么不同呢？

　　儿子：它们俩一大一小。

　　妈妈：还有呢？

　　儿子：猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。

带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话4

　　Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once,the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You"re quite hopeless, Peter! Don"t waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

　　彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉！去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

　　Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

　　彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。

　　Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?

　　上帝！教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了？

　　He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I"m sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

　　他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。

带有翻译的简单的英语小笑话5

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

　　He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" .

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问："主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢?"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。

——英语简单小笑话带翻译 (菁选3篇)

英语简单小笑话带翻译1

　　After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?"

　　After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

　　晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

英语简单小笑话带翻译2

　　Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”

　　Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．”

　　有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒？” 父亲（一位老资格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的"人。” 有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢？” 父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”

英语简单小笑话带翻译3

　　Hello everyone!My name is ~~.Now,I am 12 years old. I am from ~~.I am a student in NO.1middle school .I like football with my sister after school .I am good at drawing.And i am likelearning English.Ican speak very well!

　　Do you want to make friend with me ?

　　大家好!我的名字是~ ~.现在,我12岁了.我来自~ ~.我就读于第一中学.我喜欢踢足球和我姐姐在放学后.我擅长于画画.我喜欢学习英语. 我能讲英语讲得很好!

　　你想和我交朋友吧?

——英语笑话简单 (菁选3篇)

英语笑话简单1

　　Stunning Re*

　　My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn"t doing his chores, he said that he didn"t feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn"t feel like making dinner?"

　　He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"

　　出色的回答

　　我在准备晚饭的时候，我叫年仅五岁的儿子把玩具都收拾起来。当我问他为什么没做他的差事时，他说他不想做。我感到有些恼火，就对他说：“要是我说我不想做晚饭，这时你会在哪里呢?”

　　他略加思索便回答说：“在饭店里?”

英语笑话简单2

　　不要和小孩争论

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一个小女孩和她的老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。

　　她的老师说：“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物，可它的嗓子非常小。”

　　那个小女孩说约拿(一位西伯来先知)就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。

　　她的老师非常生气，她再次告诉小女孩说：“从身体构造角度来讲，鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”

　　那个小女孩说：“那等我到了天堂，就去问问约拿。”

　　她的老师问：“那么，假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”

　　那个小女孩回答：“如果是那样的"话，你就去问他。”

英语笑话简单3

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn"t possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can"t," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn"t be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　我丈夫马上就要回来了

　　一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”

　　在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”

——简单简短的英语笑话带翻译 (菁选3篇)

简单简短的英语笑话带翻译1

　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

　　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...

　　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

　　Student: Soap!

　　老师：自然界的四大元素是什么?

　　学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。

　　老师：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的?

　　学生：肥皂。

简单简短的英语笑话带翻译2

　　In court a judge asked the witness, "How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, you"re under oath so tell the truth."

　　The woman replied, "I"m twenty one and some months."

　　The judge said, "Be specific: how many months?"

　　So she said, "One hundred and eighteen months."

　　庭上的法官问证人：「 多大了?我的意思是，真实年龄是多少?别忘了 刚才已经宣誓过，所以请诚实作答。」

　　这位女士回答：「我是二十一岁又几个月。」

简单简短的英语笑话带翻译3

　　When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher.

　　"I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I"ve forgotten it . What can that mean?"

　　"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.

　　一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说：“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么?”

　　“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明”。老师解释说。

——简单英语幽默笑话 (菁选3篇)

简单英语幽默笑话1

　　A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old. One day, she took a plug and said to her son, " Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?" She waited for an answer expectfully .

　　"Plug in nose." is the answer.

　　一位母亲十分善于利用每一个机会对孩子进行教育。她的.儿子只有三岁。一天，她拿着一个插头对儿子说：“看，这里有两个铜片，那它一定要插在有两个孔的地方。你说它应该插在哪儿呢?”母亲期待着儿子的回答。

　　“插在鼻子里!”儿子回答说。

简单英语幽默笑话2

　　Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptre*.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain"t run nin’，”was the re*.

　　这是华盛顿的一个阴冷天。钱普·克拉克正和一个来访的英国人讨论城市的流浪儿，英国人详细地叙述着伦敦式天才的机智。克拉克宣称，要是对方向华盛顿街上任何一个儿童提任何问题，那孩子都会对答如流。他们便出发了。 “什么时候了，小兄弟?人们说你能用鼻子报时。” 回答是：“先生，问问你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”

简单英语幽默笑话3

　　A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven"t had any for a while， and it doesn"t look asif we"ll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we"ll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we"ve got it on order and it"s coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?” “Rain.” said the clerk.

　　一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?” “雨，”店员说。

——简单易懂的英语小笑话 (菁选3篇)

简单易懂的英语小笑话1

　　Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.

　　On the way home, Harry fiddled with(摆弄，玩弄) a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?

　　Wow! Larry said, It"s a good thing we didn"t catch any more.

　　拉里和哈里驱车500英里去钓鱼。两人花了一大笔钱租了一间小屋，又花了差不多同样的钱租了一条船。两人钓了三天，只钓到一条鱼。

　　在回家的路上，拉里开车，哈里拨弄着计算器。一小时后，哈里说：你可知道我们钓的这条鱼几乎用掉我们2000美元?

　　哇!拉里应答：幸亏我们没有多钓到鱼。

简单易懂的英语小笑话2

　　A daughter came home and asked, "Daddy, can you write in the dark?"

　　Her father said, "I think so; what do you want me to write?"

　　"Oh, just your name on this report card!"

　　一个小女孩回家以后问爸爸说：“您可以在黑暗中写字吗?”

　　爸爸回答：“应该可以。你要我写什么?”

　　“喔，只要在这张成绩单上签名就行了!”

简单易懂的英语小笑话3

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”